Ellen’s husband came out of the closet after 25 years together and divorced a few months later. They both now have a new partner and her ex-husband asked him to be best man at her wedding. Ellen shared her story on LinkedIn.
In February 2018, Ellen Derix’s life was turned upside down. After 25 years together and 10 years of marriage, her husband told me that he likes men. “I didn’t see this coming at all. I have screamed and cried. I was full of disbelief and everything went through me.” Jeroen shared it with the therapist they had been seeing for a while, because it was hard for him to share this. “It was really a shock, but I thought it was very brave that she was so vulnerable and dared to share this.”
share the news
After a few unreal days full of emotions, it was time to tell the children. ,,The youngest was only 2.5 years old, but the two oldest felt that something was wrong. We told them that mom and dad broke up and that dad likes men. I think we did this very well together.” The eldest (8) had a very clear summary: ‘Oh, so you’re gay and you’re getting divorced!’
Ellen and Jeroen’s family and friends were also informed. “In general, everyone responded well. My sister in particular helped me a lot. Some needed a little more time, but that also worked out in the end.”
I knew someone was in love with him and then I advised Jeroen to open his heart again.
Now both of them have found a new love and they are very happy for each other. “When Jeroen started dating after a while, it was difficult for me. Fortunately, he did this with a lot of respect for me and made sure the kids didn’t notice it too much.” Ellen even gave Jeroen love advice at one point. I knew someone was in love with him and then I advised Jeroen to open his heart again. He did.”
Ellen has also found love again. “I thought those dating apps were terrible, but during the therapy session with Jeroen, the therapist gave me two pieces of advice: use Tinder and go on vacation alone. I listened to both and found my current partner, Bas, through Tinder.”
Will you be my witness?
Jeroen asked Ellen to witness his wedding. “I immediately said yes.” Ellen shared her story on LinkedIn and received a flurry of positive reactions. “My goal is mainly for people to see that things can be done differently and that it is okay to be vulnerable. The most important thing is that you should be able to be yourself, without judging.”
Last week the time came and Jeroen married his new love. Ellen was her witness. The other attendees saw a loving moment between two exes, who said yes to being themselves. Ellen and Jeroen have also brought him closer. Our bond has only gotten stronger. We feel so much love for each other and we give the world to each other. No one intervenes here.”
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